You May Not Kiss the Bride


Action / Comedy / Crime / Romance

Rotten Tomatoes Audience - Spilled 34%
IMDb Rating 5.4 10 6391

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Uploaded By: OTTO
March 15, 2014 at 06:04 AM



Katharine McPhee as Masha Nikitin
Mena Suvari as Tonya
Kathy Bates as Bryan's Mother
Rob Schneider as Ernesto
720p.BLU 1080p.BLU
754.90 MB
English 2.0
24.000 fps
1 hr 39 min
P/S 3 / 19
1.44 GB
English 2.0
24.000 fps
1 hr 39 min
P/S 6 / 9

Movie Reviews

Reviewed by kandit1 1 / 10

Not Even A Time Waster

This movie is very predictable and is so from early on. Versions of it have been done plenty of times before. Here is a quick summary: Photographer almost kills cat of Mafia boss's wife. Croatian mafia boss (more on that later) gives man choice to die or marry daughter (who speaks perfect English) to get her a green card. Man agrees to marriage. Woman kidnapped during honeymoon. Man saves woman. They fall in love with each other. The End.

Now to the Croatian aspect of the movie. As a Croatian, I didn't have a problem with a mafia boss being from Croatia as their are bad people in all countries but at least the filmmakers could have made a real effort. The names were all wrong, the accents were all wrong, the music was all wrong, Croatians don't make borscht and the coffee is actually very good. Half of Europe could tell you the above.

If you think of calling your mom first after a legitimate death threat is something you would do and she would suggest you get married because she wants grandchildren would be her answer, then this is the movie for you. It was not for me.

Reviewed by terrsgc 7 / 10

Surprisingly good attempt at this genre

I am glad to see they are still making decent movies in this genre (Romantic Comedy Blended with Action/Adventure). One Sunday I noticed this movie was airing on MoviePlex, and even though it was already a few minutes into the movie I gave it a watch. (I came in at the wedding.) I'd never heard of this movie or the two lead actors, and I expected it to be pretty bad. I was mistaken. The story was a bit silly, but nonetheless allowed for suspension of disbelief. Once the key event occurred and the action commenced, the pace was maintained pretty well with just enough laughs mixed in with the action to keep me on the couch and pleasantly entertained until it was over. It wouldn't (and didn't) win any Oscars, but it was far from a waste of two hours.

ACTING I had never heard of their names, but I quickly recognized the lead actress and actor from their TV work. They both did well as movie leads. I was surprised to see the two of them backed up by bigger names like Tia Carrere and Rob Schneider, along with Mena Suvari and Vinnie Jones. Everyone performed their roles well. I like Rob Schneider, but I usually don't like his movies. That's because a little Rob Schneider goes a long way and you usually get way too much. We got just the right amount of Rob Schneider in this one.

OTHER This was not a low-budget movie. It was filmed in a gorgeous Tahitian setting, and the cinematography, chase sequences, and helicopter effects were outstanding.

FOR PARENTS There is nothing in this movie that should keep most parents from letting their kids see it. While there are SOME amorous antics, they are extremely tame. The language is G rated as well. The main protagonists have decent morals, and one of their allies' lesser morals are depicted as silly. Vet the show if you feel you are a little stricter than mainstream.

Reviewed by Prismark10 4 / 10

Away with the bride

A rather silly, uneven, flawed but appealing romantic comedy where pet photographer Bryan gets forced to marry a Croatian woman Masha, by her crime lord father so she can get fast tracked citizenship and make amends for injuring the family cat. Strangely Masha does not have much of a Croatian accent.

In order to convince the immigration service, they are sent off to honeymoon to Tahiti. Of course Bryan is told to keep his hands to himself as this is just a paper marriage and his father's henchman, Vinnie Jones has first tabs on Marsha. However Bryan is smitten with Marsha but she is kidnapped and a ransom is demanded. Bryan with some help tries to rescue her, but her family thinks he is involved in the kidnap.

The film has lots of flaws. Why does Marsha's father try to bribe the Immigration Service officials? Why does he want his daughter to marry Vinnie Jones when Marsha despises him. Why does Mena Suvari lust after Bryan and act like a stalker?

Its only the charms of the two leads and Tia Carrere that propels this uneven film. Rob Schneider does his unfunny shtick as if he is still in an Adam Sandler movie. There is some beautiful scenery as the film was shot in Hawaii, there are a few star cameos and its surprisingly sprightly despite the problems with the screenplay.

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