Bratz

2007

Comedy / Family / Music

1
IMDb Rating 3.1 10 17656

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Synopsis


Uploaded By: FREEMAN
November 09, 2020 at 07:19 PM

Director

Cast

Malese Jow as Quinn
Jon Voight as Principal Dimly
Lainie Kazan as Bubbie
720p.WEB
934.59 MB
1280*528
English 2.0
PG
24 fps
1 hr 41 min
P/S 3 / 21

Movie Reviews

Reviewed by editor-299 1 / 10

By far one of the worst films - ever

Had I not been forced to see this film because of my occupation (and the fact I have two young daughters), I would have avoided this particular production like Richard Simmons avoids women.

However, no such luck came my way on this night, and I was subjected to one of the single most shallow, insignificant, poorly-directed, badly-acted movies of the year.

Or in ANY year, for that matter.

"Bratz, The Movie" is supposedly based on those slutty-looking dolls with huge eyes, full lips and no noses; figures which many parents feel imbues their daughters with an overinflated infatuation with clothes, shoes and make-up. Unfortunately, this movie is live action (but still concentrates on the whole "appearance is the most important" thing).

And while the film tries to touch on friendships being key, the main message here is that only thin, good-looking people are worth anything; and the only way to make a difference in the world is to wear the latest, most expensive fashions.

As if any of this makes any difference, here's the basic plot outline: Four adolescent girls (all beautiful with perfect bodies), Yasmin (Natalie Ramos), Jade (Janel Parish), Sasha (Logan Browning) and Chloe (Skyler Shaye) enter high school. It's also needless to mention that none of these young women has even the most remote acting talents, whatsoever.

In fact, I've seen better acting in a morgue. Friends, the combined talent of the entire cast and crew of "Bratz" could be put in a thimble and there would still be room for Rosie O'Donnell's butt.

But I digress ...

Anyway, these four vapid souls enter Carrie A. Nation High School (which is more than appropriate since I wanted to take a hatchet to the projection room during this preview) and immediately clash with uptight beauty queen, Meredith (Chelsea Staub) and her group of "Heathers" wannabes.

Meredith - even though a freshman - has divided the entire academy into clicks (emo's, skaters, geeks, potheads, jocks, tree-huggers and other assorted losers). Why anyone accepts this pigeon-holing is beyond me, but wondering about this isn't worth the time it takes for a synapse to fire, so ...

And while it's easy to see the above-mentioned no-names populating this production, it's quite disheartening to watch a veteran actor such as Jon Voight, who plays Meredith's father and school principal. He not only embarrasses himself in the movie, but has put a stamp of incompetence on what was once a stellar career.

Oh, there's also a deaf kid, Dylan (Ian Nelson) who somehow has the power to hear Yasmin singing (oh, and he can spin turntables, as well).

The picture's witless conclusion consists of a huge birthday bash for Meredith (see enters on an elephant) and a loud and irritating musical number (it's amazing what passes for entertainment in today's world).

My little girls liked this film, but then again they are 3 and 7-years old. Unless you fit into this particular gender or age group - or are in a coma - you will see this entire enterprise as shallow as a saucer and empty-headed as Paris Hilton.

Truly one of the worst movie-going experiences since "Are We Done Yet?"

Reviewed by jameswestinghamiii 1 / 10

Aaaaugh! My Eyes! My Ears! My Brain! All Ruined!

Aaaaaaauuuugh!!!! This movie was so awful it makes me wish I had been struck blind and deaf as a child! I watched it with 2 friends, to try for an MST3K style viewing but.... it doesn't work!!! One of my friends became very still, and started attracting flies halfway through the film, and another one became temporarily quadriplegic from watching this! I'm 20... I haven't cried for any reason since I was 12, and this movie brought me to tears. Not from laughter, not sadness... it was SO bad, I had no emotions that could be connected to this film, and I just started crying because nothing else quite fit. If these people tried to perform like this two thousand years ago, they would have been stoned to death. The acting was so terrible, I think I lost my faith in mankind. The materialism in this movie was so... I can't even think of an adequate adjective to describe it... No wonder there are countries that want to see our way of life crumble... after seeing this movie, I almost agree with them. The MST3K guys would be speechless, watching this. It's so awful, no one could possibly lampoon this movie. It's too terrible to properly mock and satirize. I feel really terrible for the companies that sponsored this. They really lost out on this investment. The attempts at throwing in messages about individualism and inner strength would have worked, if there hadn't been the "be yourself, but dress fashionably to be accepted" message splayed across this film like roadkill. It's a good thing I didn't have any forks, or acetylene torches nearby... or I would have tried to stab/burn my brain out. I seriously considered gnawing my own leg off several times, to escape watching this film. I actually lost the ability to breathe after about 40 minutes of this film... I eventually remembered how, but it took a while. Not good... My roommate has completely lost his mind... he asks questions like, if Darth Vader showed up at our door, should we hang out with him, and some remarks about hollowed out breasts and orange juice... he's completely lost his mind.

Don't watch this movie if you value your sanity!!!

Reviewed by nightmare975 1 / 10

What a way to ruin a birthday party.

Ugh. The first words that came out of my mouth when I found out my friend's sister wanted to see this for her birthday. First off, I have never bothered to play with Bratz dolls once in my life, nor will I ever. This movie has got to have some of the worst dialog in a movie ever. (Note to script writers: If you really have to put "OMG" as an actual spoken line, then I think it's time to rethink your career) After this monstrosity finally ended, I looked to my friend and we looked to her sister, who then informed us that the movie was horrible. In the words of the Bratz Girls: "Like OMG! No way!" Seriously, if you want to ruin someone's birthday, then I recommend Bratz: The Movie.

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