Hard Rock Zombies

1985

Comedy / Horror / Music

0
IMDb Rating 4.4 10 1365

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Synopsis


Uploaded By: FREEMAN
March 22, 2022 at 12:36 PM

Director

Cast

720p.BLU
892.13 MB
1280*682
English 2.0
NR
23.976 fps
1 hr 37 min
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Movie Reviews

Reviewed by nogodnomasters 4 / 10

ROCK AND ROLL CAUSES SEX

A band travels to Grand Guignol to perform, except the town doesn't want them to perform. The town consists of odd individuals including midget cannibalistic Nazis. After the band is killed, buried, and becomes KISS looking zombies, I no longer know what the film is about.

The production was campy by design. The low budget produced visible microphone shadows and for some reason some of the swastikas were oriented backwards. The music isn't that great, the story line idiotic, and the cheese lacked flavor.

Don't expect anything remotely good. Has some camp value, although I think the camp value is over rated. The DVD transfer quality was poor too.

Parental Guide: Sex. Nudity (Lisa Toothman)

Reviewed by Woodyanders 1 / 10

A painfully crummy and unfunny 80's heavy metal horror comedy dud

A simply hideous and allegedly cutesy'n'campy tongue-in-cheek horror spoof with a numbingly cheesy heavy metal rock music gimmick. A pathetic hair band called Holy Moses agrees to perform a gig in a nowheresville Northern California hamlet. Unbeknownst to the band, there's a strange family of murderous freaks in the immediate area led by a still alive Adolph Hitler (depicted here as a fat, lecherous old goat who makes love to Eva Braun while his deformed dwarf grand children watch). The band gets killed by the freaks, but come back as vengeful zombies. The band proceeds to butcher the family, only to have them return from the dead as zombies as well. The freaky family naturally attack the surrounding uptight square townspeople. Next thing you know zombies are everywhere. They engage in all kinds of broad, ridiculous, groan-inducing stupidity: a midget zombie tries to eat a cow, a little old lady zombie who also transforms into a werewolf (!?) hobbles about in her wheelchair, another midget zombie hitchhikes on the side of the road, the band performs a snazzy goth-rock number for a talent agent, and the jerky townies decide to sacrifice a local virgin to the teeming zombie horde.

Sound good? Well, it sure ain't man. For starters, the tiresomely arch and pseudo-hip comic tone affects a gratingly smug and off-putting forced sense of wannabe funky-cool posturing. The gormless, sophomoric humor resorts to demeaning racial stereotypes and dopey pun-ridden dialogue ("She's a fine mama") in its pitiful attempts at eliciting cheap laughs from the audience. Krishna Shah's limp (mis)direction, working from a terribly asinine script written by Shah and David Ball, fails to inject any wit, style or vigor into the idiotic goings-on. Tom Richmond's flat cinematography falls back on dreadfully dated mid-80's MTV rock video visual clichés: madly darting to and fro pans, tilted camera angles, gauzy backlighting, and the ubiquitous curling swirl of hazy smoke billowing in the background. The hopelessly lame head-bangin' music is sheer torture on the ears. The colorless acting, an excruciatingly lethargic pace, John Carl Buechler's crummy make-up f/x, the mild gore, the uniformly obnoxious and unlikable characters, and a general air of total creative impoverishment further sink this clunker like an 80-pound boulder. The absolute dregs.

Reviewed by BA_Harrison 4 / 10

The 80s sure was a strange decade.

Travelling to the redneck town of Grand Guignol, where they hope to impress a music mogul with their next show, a heavy rock band pick up a beautiful hitch-hiker who invites them to stay at her home, which she shares with her bizarre family. Once in town, the band runs into trouble with the authorities, and lead singer Jessie falls in love with local girl Cassie, but the band's outrageous rock 'n' roll antics and Jessie's blossoming romance are short lived: the musicians are murdered one-by-one by their strange hosts, who turn out to be a bunch of bloodthirsty ghouls led by none other than Adolf Hitler!

Following the band's funeral, a distraught Cassie plays Jessie's last recording—music inspired by an ancient magical book that has the power to raise the dead—which results in the pasty faced foursome clawing their way from their graves to seek revenge, and to play one last gig.

When I first saw Hard Rock Zombies, on its original video release over 20 years ago, I thought it was absolutely awful; these days, I find the film slightly more bearable thanks to its nostalgia factor (gotta love all that big hair rock!) and my unhealthy love of cheesy 80s crap. However, I still struggle to understand what the hell its makers were thinking of: were they intentionally aiming for cult status with this insane mix of rock and horror, or is the film a genuinely inept, asinine piece of trash made by a bunch of totally talentless fools? The jury is still out on that one...

The film starts off promisingly, quickly scoring points for gratuitous use of both nudity and dwarfs, but rapidly becomes a jaw-droppingly bad mish-mash of musical interludes and inept gore (courtesy of FX man John Carl Buechler), interspersed with moments of complete inanity: the dwarfs watch on as an old man (later to be revealed as Hitler) shtups his wife; the old lady turns into a werewolf; the hitch-hiker dances to herself for no reason in the desert; one dwarf eats himself; the band survive an electrocution while practising; and one guy momentarily avoids being eaten by pretending to be a zombie (beating Shaun Of The Dead to the joke by a couple of decades).

It's all utter garbage, of course, but somehow strangely compelling.

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